they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
