Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
