She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And then he peed in my hair
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
