You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Randomize
