I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
