If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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