i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
