The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
