hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
