Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We need a shit load of segways right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
