I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
