he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
