tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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