I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
