So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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