My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
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