grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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