Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
