K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
