HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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