so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
