Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
