i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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