how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
