the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
