I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
