Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Couch. On fire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
