Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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