Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
