You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
