that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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