So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
And then he peed in my hair
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