i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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