I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
