The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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