I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't trust your balls anymore.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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