No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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