I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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