I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
