dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
