Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
