What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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