Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
