Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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