Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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