hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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