if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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