I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
