So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
