States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
