Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
